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1. The Mediterranean hairy mustachioed man serving you your road kill kebabs.
2. He is currently in Syria sipping strong coffee, enjoying the company of Osama Bin Laden and Bigfoot while using a weapon of mass destruction as a coffee table.
3. Maybe he’s holed up in Minsk swimming in a vat of cheap wine.
4. Dunno, ask an Arab ‘cause they’re all related to him.
5. Writing articles for the National Review.
6. In orbit.
7. He has sequestered himself to write his autobiography.
8. Making new crop circles in Arkansas.
9. Starting a career as a Saddam look-alike look-alike.
10. Becoming a Republican.
