Da’wah By Any Means Necessary?

By Pamela Taylor

Recently a friend’s dear uncle passed away. As the janaza prayer was beginning, an elderly gentleman began to fuss that women are not allowed to pray janaza. (A mistaken notion, I might add, but one he was quite adamant about.) To put it politely, he was very vocal in his opposition to the women joining the prayers for their departed relative. Later, at the graveyard, another “gentleman” approached the male relatives to protest that the wife, sisters, daughters and nieces of the deceased and their supporters were present. What, one wonders, was going through these men’s minds that they thought it more important to enforce a small, debatable detail of law, than to respect the grief of a bereaved family and to honor the rights of the deceased?

Unfortunately, it’s not like this is an isolated instance -- our masjids are full of this sort of “da’wah.” I’m sure we’ve all had the delightful experience of approaching a masjid only to see signs declaring that all women who enter must be properly clothed. Very welcoming, indeed. Or perhaps, we came in by the front door only to have a storm of concerned brothers descend upon us frantically indicating the “proper” (read: side, rear, down the alley and behind the dumpster) entrance. One time, a friend of mine was praying when a woman came along and actually pushed her rear end down because she thought it was raised too high in the air. To this day, I remain amazed that she had the audacity to lay hands on a person and shove them in the middle of their salaat! No doubt this same woman would blanche at the thought of walking in front of a praying person, or speaking above a whisper in their presence.

Da’wah, inviting to all that is good, enjoining what is right, and forbidding what is wrong have positively become a harm in our society. Our masjids are frequented by droves of well-intentioned brothers and sisters who deliver unsolicited advice at every possible turn, more often than not in an argumentative, rude, self-righteous, or ill-timed manner that serves only to anger and drive away their target audience. To make matters worse, these recommendations are usually focused on minutiae and often are based upon incorrect information or pertain to debatable issues.

What happened to the Qur’anic injunction to invite to good with “beautiful speech” and “in the best manner?” Surah 16, The Bee, verse 125 says “Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious…” Do people really think shouting and yelling in the masjid as a janaza prayer is about to begin is wise, gracious or beautiful?

When did focusing on minor issues become more important than taking care of the fundamentals? The Qur’an expounds the primary issues – prayer, fasting, charity, zakat, kindness, justice, honesty, mercy, unity. The secondary details were left to the Prophet’s example. One wonders if the self-appointed guardians of our religion ever stop to think about the fact that the word Sunnah refers not only to the stories of the Prophet’s life, but to those things that are optional, according to Islamic law, recommended to be sure, but still optional? How is it that so many of us have come to the point that we ignore the germinal in favor of the arcane, that we are willing, even, to jeopardize the performance of fards for the sake of enforcing sunnahs or naffils?

Why do we ignore ideals of character such as sensitivity and protecting the self-respect and dignity of an individual in favor of enforcing regulations? Compare the actions of our zealous brothers and sisters, to Prophet Muhammad’s behavior. When a man began urinating in the masjid, the sahaba rushed to stop him, but Prophet Muhammad (saws) held them back until he had finished. Later he pulled the man aside and told him, “These mosques are not the places meant for urine and filth, but are only for the remembrance of Allah, prayer and the recitation of the Qur'an.” (as reported in Bukhari and Muslim) He did not berate the man. He did not embarrass him in front of his companions. He didn’t even stop something that is inarguably wrong (peeing in the mosque). He certainly didn’t interrupt his prayers, or infringe upon his funeral rights, or say anything that would make him hesitant to return to the masjid.

Where did the notion of humility go? Where do we get off thinking that our opinion is any better or more important than someone else’s opinions? I would be willing to bet large sums of money (if Islam allowed gambling) that not a one of those brothers or sisters rushing to correct other people’s mistakes would call themselves scholars of Islam. Why then are they so sure that their opinion is right and must be presented to everyone around them?

And what about the idea of intellectual honesty? Why do we present our own opinion as though it were the only opinion? When was the last time you heard someone say, “well, the scholars disagree on this issue, but I believe…” or “some Muslims believe this and others believe that, and I think this third thing…?” How does this tally with the Islamic ideal of honesty in all dealings?
How did the idea that da’wah is to be accomplished by any means necessary, or possible, ever gain such popularity in face of so many Qur’anic and Prophetic injunctions and examples to the contrary?

The irony, of course, is that those who practice da’wah by any means are almost completely unsuccessful in changing anyone’s opinion. By focusing on the importance of attaining conformity with their opinions over the importance of advising in a reasonable, palatable manner, they not only render themselves ineffective but also threaten to make themselves counterproductive. I mean, really, have those little signs on the front door ever convinced anyone that they should dress a certain way in the masjid? Or do they, rather, stop people from coming to the masjid, coerce them into conformity because they don’t want to face some unpleasantry, or simply get ignored?

Those who would undertake da’wah need to take advantage of the full range of interpersonal skills. Not only would it be according to Sunnah (Prophet Muhammad (saws) was a master of interpersonal relations and the epitome of compassion and consideration toward other people), but it would enhance their efficacy immensely. Not to mention that it would make life a whole lot more pleasant for the rest of us!