War Toys

By Maria Mills

Two years ago I was visiting a friend after one of the Eids and I was greeted by a sword chop to my thigh by her four-year-old son. She laughed and commented that they bought him this saif as an Eid gift and he was practicing to be a great warrior for Islam. I did not find this amusing or cute as my hostess did. I found it disturbing to the point that I’ve never been back to that house.

As a committed pacifist and a concerned parent I was very troubled the first time my two year old made the shape of a gun with his fingers and proclaimed, “Bang! I shot you mommy!”

My initial reaction was harsh. I was stern and abrupt as I informed him, nearly yelling, that in our house we do not play with guns. I’ve been uncomfortable with my reaction ever since and have been working hard to come to a resolution on what we will and will not allow when it comes to weapon play.

My childhood was filled with guns. My father was an avid hunter and as a result both my brother and I learned how to use guns at an early age. In addition to instruction-filled hunting trips with our father we both were required to complete a gun safety course. We were taught from the beginning that guns were not toys. We were taught from the beginning that guns kill. My brother grew into a skilled marksman rising early in the morning during every hunting season to go practice his art, always bringing home a plethora of Midwestern wild game for the dinner table. I grew to spend hunting seasons in the warmth and solitude of my bedroom listening to peacenik music on my headphones and pondering the violent aspects of human nature.

The statistics on gun violence and children are upsetting to say the least. 3,012 children and teens were killed by gunfire in the United States in one year, according to national data released in 2002. This translates to one child every three hours; eight children every day; and more than 50 children every week. And every year, at least 4 to 5 times as many kids and teens suffer from non-fatal firearm injuries. (Children's Defense Fund and National Center for Health Statistics)

I have to wonder if these astonishing stats are the result of children not being taught the realities of weapons. I have to wonder if children who have innocently, or not so innocently, fired fatal shots have any idea that they are firing real weapons. I have to wonder if these children spent their early years playing cowboys and indians, cops and robbers, mujahidin and unbeliever.

Toy stores have entire sections dedicated to alarmingly realistic looking toy weapons. Purchasing toy weapons seems completely normal and natural to countless parents. By purchasing toy weapons for our children and by allowing weapon play are we setting the stage for our children to grow into adults who condone, or worse perpetrate, violence? Childhood play is in effect a rehearsal for adulthood. When children play with toy weapons what kind of adulthood are they rehearsing for?

Children will naturally engage in good guy/bad guy games. Distinguishing right and wrong is an essential part of early learning and these games are one piece of a long and complex process. While ‘bang, bang, your dead’ is certainly a reality of child’s play, reinforcing violence by providing children with toy weapons as accessories for this play sends a message that we condone the use of weapons on our fellow humans.

Ever since the “Bang! I shot you mommy!” incident we have taken a good deal of time to ponder the issue of weapon play in our home we have concluded that it simply will not be allowed. On the few occasions that our son has attempted to create a weapon out of otherwise benign toys, we calmly and quietly explain to him that we do not play with weapons because weapons hurt and kill. When he reaches an age that we deem appropriate he will be given the opportunity to learn about, handle and possibly even fire a gun but only after proper training and after he has exhibited an understanding about just what a gun can do. He will know that guns, swords, and other weapons commonly made in toy form should never be considered toys and that they serve no other purpose but to hurt and kill.

I am not interested in raising a marksman, a warrior, a mujahid. By steering my son away from weapon play and by teaching him the stark reality of the purpose of weapons, I hope to raise him to be a voice of logic and peace in every conflict he encounters in life.

Maria Mills holds degrees in Child and Family Studies and Psychology with an emphasis in Early Childhood Education. She currently puts those degrees to practice on adults in her roll has Human Resources Manager for a large non-profit. When she isn’t busy redirecting her son’s play, she sometimes writes a thing or two.