For The Mothers' Eyes Only

By Tayyaba Abidin

They say you are a martyr
They glorify and sing your praises
But, my darling angel
The million pieces, which you were blown into
Have gathered and pierced my heart in one questioning arrow
WHAT MADE YOU DO IT?!!

Martyr! They say
For what cause?
For the cause of God? For the cause of the homeland? Or for a lost cause!
Only the next life will tell.

Why did you do it?

Didn't you know injustice would prevail till the world's end?
Didn't you know carnage and occupation would always be a part of human history?
Didn't you know holocausts would come and go?

I waited for 16 years to see the glitter in your eyes
The red of Henna, carve exquisite patterns on your palm
The sweet shy smile of expectancy as you took your wedding vows
But! One moment shattered that dream!
The blinding fury of the bomb
The red splashed all over the horizon spelled--your name, your face!
Time stood still in that horrible grimace of Death!

Was it anger?
Was it revenge?
Or was it just a loud bang to make the deaf world listen
Just as you would stamp your foot in anger to gain my attention?

If only you had asked me
If only you had trusted me
I would have gathered you in my arms
Whispered gently in your ears
Sh… Sh, the darkness would lift
The sun would dawn on a new world
Patience my darling. It is only the passage of time
Change is the law of nature
The blood-suckers would go
The tyrants would depart
The guns will be silenced
And there will be peace and beauty and justice for all!

But you were in a hurry
And they needed their martyr!
And so I lost my sunshine
And now the sun will never dawn on a new world for me
It will always have the redness
Which it stole from my daughter
The redness of her palm
The redness of her martyrdom
The blistering, searing redness of the fire!
And my blind eyes would still see
The fiery hatred and the determination
In those angelic eyes
Before they set forever!