Men of Real Honor: An Open Letter to Somia el-Alfy, Ahmed el-Fishawy’s Mother

By Ginan Rauf

In a column that appeared in the Egyptian newspaper sawt al umma, you raise an important question about what you call a “new religious project” or mashru din jadid. Your comments seem to imply--and please correct me if I am wrong--that this new brand of religion (din) is like a plague threatening social order and undermining Islamic law or shari’ah. Your pressing question is specifically directed to Hind and to her numerous supporters, those whom many have characterized as detractors lurking in the background to destroy our customs and sacred traditions.

Being an outspoken fan and supporter of Hind-el Hinnawy, I have taken it upon myself to respond to your question and to address your legitimate concerns about public morality. Let me state at the outset that Hind el-Hinnawy has captivated my imagination and re-kindled my faith in humanity. And yet, my maternal fondness for Hind doesn’t necessarily translate into feelings of hostility for your son Ahmed. As a mother of two boys I understand that the impulse to protect one’s child and ward off unjust attacks can be quite overwhelming. In the same column you indicate that your son Ahmed has come under heavy attack by the Arab media, by those who wish to rob him of the farha (joy) associated with being a talented actor and rising star. According to your account the malicious gossip circulating in the media is the work of “envious detractors” rather than legitimate critics or serious skeptics. This, you maintain, is nothing short of a vicious campaign to defame an innocent man and tarnish his good reputation. If I have in any way contribute to this malicious gossip then please accept my sincere apologies and rest assured that there was never any evil intent.

Gossip is a temptation we must all guard against, and I would be the first one to admit that this story has been riveting. After all, this is the stuff of drama as an actress of your stature must recognize. So I come to this story with an irrepressible desire to see justice served. In that respect, you and I have a very important thing in common; namely, a desire to vindicate those who have been wrongfully accused and to thereby live in a society free of oppression. Nothing is more painful to the lovers of justice than the persecution of an innocent man or woman. That is why Islam prohibits and severely condemns the bearing of false witness. It is therefore safe to say that those who struggle against oppression (zulm) in all its forms must constantly strive to reveal the truth; the two are inseparable. The two are so closely related that a Qur’anic revelation was sent down to vindicate Aisha and restore her good name in the community. Such a revelation is itself an indication that falsely accusing a woman is a grave offense.

Revealing the truth to vindicate the innocent, then, is surely in keeping with the sacred traditions you so vehemently defend. I was therefore puzzled, not to say troubled, by your son’s initial refusal to take the DNA test. After all, the beauty of DNA testing is that it provides us with a relatively accurate tool for determining paternity and by implication for alleviating a mother’s suffering. As the story progressed, however, it became increasingly apparent that your son has neither been a credible witness nor a principled defender of the truth. Your son initially denied having had any sort of relationship with Hind el-Hinnawy. Then he conceded that he had a fleeting relationship of sorts with Hind but insisted that there was never any marriage contract between them. It therefore seems eminently reasonable for Hind supporters such as myself to conclude your rising star only speaks the truth after he has been cornered and has nowhere else to hide. That is not how a man of conscience conducts his personal affairs. That is not the mark of an honorable man!

Your son, then, is in something of a bind following his public confession. One hastens to remind you that the Shar’iah of which you claim to be such a staunch defender makes no distinction between the punishment it metes out to the male adulterer and the punishment it metes out to the female adulterer. In the eyes of God both are ultimately held accountable for their earthly transgressions. It therefore behooves me to think that you are continuing to tarnish Hind’s reputation by insinuating that she has spent the night outside her father’s home and that she may have had multiple sexual partners while studying in Italy! Surely, such accusations are most unbecoming for an actress of your stature and a mother of your tender sensibilities. Let me take pause for a moment and take this opportunity to pose a pressing question to Ahmed’s supporters; namely, if the DNA test proves that Ahmed is indeed Leena’s father, then shouldn’t you be directing your moral indignation at the father who knowingly seeks to punish an innocent child for what he terms his “sin” or kati’a? Since Ahmed is so quick to inflict an unjust punishment on Leena, then, shouldn’t he at the very least subject himself to similarly harsh measures? Yet, this would clearly not be my preference for I have no desire to see Ahmed come to harm. But by the same token I have no desire to see Hind el-Hinnawy or her daughter come to any harm either. They too must be protected from any zulm that befalls them and threatens their well-being.

In a decent world an innocent woman’s shahada stands and should be treated with the utmost respect. After all, Maryam’s story as depicted in the Qur’an teaches us that the outcast woman can be the mother of a Prophet. So you see, I applaud Hind’s father for not reacting to this situation violently and with the punitive measures of which you appear to be so enamored. Would an honor killing have been more to your liking or served the cause of justice? Is that what honorable men do? Would a funeral have contributed to our farha as human beings or to our maturity as a people? Would hushing up the scandal have contributed to your farha as a mother and to your son’s career as a rising star? Would you recommend we police young women and monitor their activities twenty-four hours a day? Are we as parents expected to act like the moral police? Are we better off investing our resources educating young women or policing their sexuality? Perhaps Ahmed’s time would have been better spent educating himself on the use of effective birth control methods given his rather harsh views on fathering “illegitimate” children.

Personally, I believe it is high time we stop adopting a one dimensional punitive approach to the multi-dimensional problems facing our young people. Let us take the problem of drug addiction as an example. We can criminalize the young addict, imprison and ostracize him in a futile response that only serves to further afflict the afflicted. Public beheadings are an option to whet the appetite of the morally indignant! Or we can openly debate the root causes of drug addiction, educate our youth on the risks involved, build supportive networks to rehabilitate drug addicts and celebrate their recovery with human kindness whenever possible.

If all this strikes you as being rather “new,” then so be it. If, however, all this strikes you as being morally outrageous or corrosive of traditional values, then I beg to differ and will peacefully challenge you at every turn. Speaking as one mother to another, however, I urge you to turn your gaze away from the inhilal (moral decay) out there and focus your attention on rehabilitating the Ahmed in here. Pose the following question on my behalf; namely, why compound Ahmed’s moral lapse with the evil of oppression? Encourage him to redeem himself not so much by exploiting the redemption (tawba) narrative to pull out a farcical publicity stunt but by seizing it as a real opportunity for future moral growth. Help him become of a conscience worthy of his name, rather than a peddler of inane pieties and empty slogans. Remember, your son Ahmed is neither an angel nor a devil but a fallible human being capable of making mistakes and of redeeming himself. Love him to death but not at the expense of others. Forgive him his transgressions but don’t allow him to oppress others, particularly the weak and the defenseless. In this I will gladly support you and follow your lead. That is what honor is all about.

Finally, turn your gaze inward and reflect deeply on all that has transpired. This is a time of reckoning and self-doubt. Examine your conscience before condemning an innocent child to a life of infamy through no fault of her own and remember that the religious tradition you invoke holds each believer responsible for his or her individual deeds. Embrace Leena with the compassion (ihsan) and kindness that has characterized us as a people. Love the child even if she turns out to be a “stranger,” for the religion of which you claim to be such a staunch defender is itself a defender of orphans; the land in which you reside welcomed Joseph with open arms. Calling an innocent child like Leena bint haram (“a child of sin”) doesn’t strike me as being a particularly good beginning for a man attempting to redeem himself. Nor does it strike me as being a particularly kind act for such a tender mother or grandmother, as the case may be. And if Leena does turn out to be your granddaughter, then celebrate her life, for my hunch is that she will turn out to be an extraordinary young woman given her impressive lineage. Perhaps then and only then, you will appreciate the deep visionary wisdom of an Egyptian father who has courageously sought to de-link sexuality and honor, to stand firmly as an opponent of female infanticide, to resist oppression and to combat moral hypocrisy. That is how an honorable man conducts himself in the modern world. Surely these are all “old” barbaric customs which I for one will not lament their passing away. That is what our “new” project looks like.