Smoking, but not inhaling, non-consensual sex

By Jawad Ali

Shaykh Rabbani has posted an immediate response to my fatwa challenge on his blog.

I want to address his tone first. The good imam takes a very polite and respectful approach. I give him full marks for this, and he has all my love and respect. I hope that my own tone is not too harsh. Some of the things that are said by men in the name of Islam are simply ridiculous. Sometimes it is a blessing to have a chuckle at the absurdities. I hope that some of this puts a smile on his face, even if it does not soften his heart.

The question before us is very, very simple. Does a husband require a wife’s consent to have sex with her? A “yes” answer is in line with progressive thought and Islam’s message of kindness and justice. A “no” answer is an invitation to rape and abuse. All other answers, such as “neither”, “both” or “something in the middle”, are politician-talk. In such a case the responder should get out of the fatwa business and seek employment as the press secretary of a politician who is heading to prison. I am hoping that this will be a growth area in the new economy.

The question is just as simple from the wife’s point of view. Does the wife have the right to say “no” on a particular night? This right is absolute. It can not be taken away by the husband or his mufti. All the rules of a happy marriage still apply. Good sex makes for a good marriage. Spouse should be kind and attentive to each other’s needs. Orgasms are blessings from Allah.

A wife refuses to have sex with her husband one night. Let us say that she just does not feel like it on that night. What recourses does the husband have? The original fatwa seemed to argue that the husband’s desire to have sex would prevail over the wife’s desire to abstain. That is the very definition of rape and sexual abuse. Legal sex requires two consenting adults. One of the slogans of a popular anti-date-rape campaign used to be “what part of “NO!” do you not understand?” There are some parts of “NO!” that the Muftis are having trouble with.

The Shaykh seems to be back tracking on this issue. He adds that the husband is not allowed to use coercion or force, and that all Islamic rules of kindness and justice apply first. These modifications do not seem to leave the husband with any rights to demand sex if the wife refuses. There is also no longer any possibility of the husband having any bedroom rights that the wife does not have. So much for the original fatwa.

It seems to be a shady admission that the original fatwa was completely bogus, nonsensical and downright un-Islamic. We expect Dick Cheney to talk like this. He is instructing the torturers to beat the prisoners to a pulp, while fully following the Geneva Convention provisions against torture, abuse and humiliation of prisoners, unless the convention does not apply. The guards are taking full advantage of this ambiguity. I sincerely hope that no husbands have used the mufti’s confusion to create little Abu Ghraibs in their bedrooms.

It is sad when Islamic scholars have to resort to this sort of politician-speak. It reminds me of the time that Bill Clinton smoked a joint but did not really inhale it. The Shaykh wants to roll up the wife’s right to sexual consent in a large joint and light it up, but he does not want to face up to inhaling the fumes of sexual abuse.

In the end, no matter how bizarre and shady the retraction is, it is still better than no retraction at all, and for this we are sincerely thankful. The Shaykh indicates that all SunniPath answers will now include a new disclaimer that seems to suggest that Islam still applies in case the ruling violates the spirit or letter of Islam. As people are suggesting, life would be much simpler if all rulings were within Islam’s sprit of kindness and justice to begin with. The Shaykh indicates that there is more to come on the subject. I have more to say as well, including the real disclaimer about human folly that I think the fatwa websites should use. Readers are welcome to post their own suggestions.

My friend once gave me a vegan cookie that was packaged as the “No-Cookie Cookie” because it does not have any cookie ingredients, I suppose. Here is an example that illustrates absurdity of the No-retraction retraction of the no-fatwa fatwa:

Question: It turns out that my wife is left-handed. What should I do?
Mufti: She could be a witch. Take her out to the back yard and burn her.
Critics: That is cruel, unjust and immoral in seventeen different ways.
Mufti: Not if we add the following provisions a few years later:
1. No fire must be lit during the burning ceremony.
2. The wife’s temperature must remain a comfortable 72 degrees Fahrenheit.
3. Nothing must be done to cause, pain, discomfort, fear or shame in the wife.
4. All other provisions of Sunnah, Shariah and happy Islamic marriages must take precedence.

In order to make it all look scholarly, the text of the witch burning fatwa would include Shariah citations about:
1. Blessings of the right hand vs. the left hand
2. Evils of witchcraft
3. A completely unrelated citation about feeding the orphans and the health benefits of eating zucchini.