Letters from Hebron

By Jehad Aliweiwi

July 20, 2007

Friends,

Friday marks the third week for me in Palestine. It also marks the release of more than 250 Palestinian prisoners from Israeli jails. Out of more than 10,000 prisoners held by Israel, the release of 250 detainees including, 6 women, 12 under the age of 18 and the deputy secretary general for the Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, Mr. Abdel Rahim Mallouh, sounds more like an insult and less of a sign of goodwill.

Few things move Palestinians the way the plight of their prisoners does. It seems like one of the last remaining pillars of consensus amongst Palestinians. The live broadcast of families reuniting with their freed sons and daughters is an incredibly heartening sight. President Abbas was addressing the released prisoners and their families promising to work towards the release of each remaining Palestinian captive languishing in Israeli jails. However small the number of freed prisoners, it has been a happy day that seem to bring respite to the internal Palestinian strife and equally important reminded Palestinians of the real issue: the occupation and its devastating impact on every aspect of Palestinian lives including weddings, travels, work, education, entertainment, shopping, shooting films and taking pictures.

With the exception of one day trips to Ramallah and Bethlehem, I spent all my time in Khalil, otherwise known as Hebron. Since I have been here I attended more than five weddings including my sister Noor's fabulous wedding that was last Friday, July 13 and officially ended last night marking the 7th day of the couple's marriage. My mom made an elaborate desert tray made of semolina, walnut, brown sugar, cinnamon and dates. The family of the bride takes the homemade delights and other gifts and go to the couple's home for a lovely sahra, an evening of copious amounts of coffee and tea, deserts, sheesha (water pipe with flavoured tobacco) and stories that begins with how the couple are doing so far and quickly becomes a Hamas versus Fatah out of control, incredibly insightful, polemic. My sister had a beautiful and typical Palestinian wedding that began two days before the actual wedding party and ended exactly 7 days later.

The wedding festivities began Wednesday night with close relatives, mostly men, going to the groom's house for more coffee, tea and smoking sheesha. The story telling and yelling are as entertaining as they are informative. The discussions between and amongst guests, mostly cousins, are often chaotic and loud, sometimes intended to offend or provoke a certain group against the other, always punctured with hysterical one liners. Like my dad's first cousin Yasin, a true comic, said I was Fatah, then Hamas, and now I have to start all over again. The crowd is clearly split between Hamas and Fatah, with few Hizbul Tahrir supporters who tend to receive punches from the supporter of both parties. Often they provide the comic relief desperately needed for a heated and passionate discussion. Hizbul Tahrir, Party of liberation, is not a new addition to the Palestinian body politics; however it's picking up steam as a result of the deepening Hamas-Fatah split.

he origin of the party began in the 50's as a result of a split with the Ikhwan, Muslim Brotherhood, by the founder Sheikh Taqiy Eddin Al Nabahani. The party offers an interesting menu of intellectual arguments and advances positions that many believe to be more laughable than practical. The main idea of the party is the restoration of the Khilafa, the Islamic Caliphate as the only way to change. However, the party is emerging to be a power to reckon with, no doubt.

Back to the wedding, Thursday night is the night where two parallel parties take place: one for men and the other for women. Part of the tradition is for the family of the bride-to-be will take a suit case filled with gifts for each member of the groom's immediate family and a women's party. The family of the bride leaves the house and the bride behind: The men will carry the suite case and the women will go to a separate party hall with an elaborate candle light holder beautifully decorated and the ladies get ready for a pre- wedding party. It's like a bachularette party but without the bride. Similar to a mendhi night, where henna is but one small part of the evening and dancing is the main act.

While I can say the men's party was lovely, I was not at the women's hafle; my sources in the ladies' party confirm, however, it was a fantastic display of dance and fashion. Weddings are one of the few activities that women truly appreciate and look forward to. The men's party included more men from the larger Aliweiwi-Abu Aisheh family, friends and neighbours filing into a nicely decorated tent. At one point more than 1000 men were inside the tents drinking sweet coffee and eating coconuts and sesame candies. Almost all of those who attended the night before the wedding will come for the fabulously cooked lunch the next day. Attending the Thursday night event is the equivalent of sending your confirmation that you will come for lunch on Friday. Those who do not come to wish the new groom and bride well, will almost never attend the lunch; it's like sending your regrets.

Friday lunch is the highlight of the wedding and the most costly part of the event. The entire lunch is prepared, cooked, served, cleared and cleaned by men. It's an incredible operation and unimaginable task to feed more than 1000 people within two hours. Yet it is done flawlessly with the exception of couple of plates with rice and meat falling to the ground as a result of a break down in the assembly line of transporting rice, meat, dried yogurt sauce, bread and water. The tent is divided into two sections.

One is for seating people and the other is the service area. Within 10 minutes 50 people will be seated, served and with equal efficiency the area is cleared and fifty more are served and this goes on until every one has eaten including the people who prepare the meal and those who clear the makeshifts tables and the young boys who clean the dishes. After the lunch is over, all go home and get ready for the wedding party. Weddings are usually separate where men and women have distinct and complementary roles.

At around six PM, the family of the groom will come in cars and buses to take the bride to the wedding hall. The women will go inside the house led by an elder, charming woman with tableh (percussion) and a beautiful voice: "we are coming to take our gorgeous bride from this house of honour and generosity". The men congregate in the house's courtyard and the coffee is served. Before any guest take a sip from his cup, the elder of the groom's family will stand up and officially request to take the bride in accordance with the teaching of Allah and the prophet. The elder of the bride's family, along with the rest of the family will respond in unison with one word: "congratulation", followed by "drink your coffee hounored guests".

After, the male relatives of the bride will line up and wait for the bride to come down and will shake her hand and slip her a certain amount of cash in her hand. The mother (my mom) will be on her right stuffing the cash in a handbag, the groom is on the left shaking more hands and kissing four times on the cheeks. After this, a car festooned with flowers and ribbons will take the groom and the bride and will drive a long with a motorcade through the city's crowded streets and will end at the wedding hall. With the wedding party in the hall, the men's role will end with the exception of the immediate male relatives who will have a ceremony that include singing and dancing at the entrance of the hall. This called Zafe. It is a poetic expression of joy, pride, honour and commitment. The brothers and friends of the groom will hoist him on their shoulders and will lead him into the hall with more singing and dancing. It was especially exhilarating for me to be part of this and exhibit my, clearly limited, dancing and singing talents.

The last part of the wedding for us, male relatives, is to go inside the hall, dance with the bride and groom and give the bride gifts of gold and cash. That was especially fun. The following week will include more dinner parties, visitation and family and neighbours coming bearing gifts and good wishes.

All weddings' activities begin with a political discussion and end in disagreement about how do we get out of this crises engulfing Palestinians, possibly most serious since 1948. Clearly there is no agreement on how did we get to this or how do we get past this. The occupation is obviously present everywhere, inescapable, settlements are ringing all West Bank cities and hills. Jews only roads are not accessible to the Palestinians despite the fact that they cuts through their cities, towns and lands. Cities are disconnected. Jerusalem is effectively sealed off. Each entrance to it is a border entry points looks exactly like US-Canada border crossing points. No Palestinian can go to Jerusalem including my mother who was born their and her family are living in the old city including her ailing sister. I also was not able to go to Jerusalem despite my Canadian passport, because I have a valid West Bank ID. I am a Palestinian first.

There is absolutely no excuse for this crime. Israel has no right to bar people from entering Jerusalem, it is a criminal act that is deliberate, planned to punish the people of Jerusalem as much as the rest of the Palestinians. Gaza is impossibly closed off from the West Bank.

The wall is a nightmare and clearly punishing. It separates homes from its backyards, schools from its playgrounds. It is in the middle of cities and villages. It’s a concrete tsunami, punishes, destroys imprisons and follows no clear lines of borders or logic, it splits Palestine in so many ways. It is design to make life for average Palestinian very harsh. Even if it provides Israel with the security it needs, it can not be justified because it's robbing the Palestinians from all sense of security. Israel's security can not be at the expense of a captive population and it is not more important.

Currently the wall is the main source of pain and suffering. Settlers are roaming freely everywhere. There has to be a force that demands that this be corrected. I believe this force has to be Jewish. Palestinians should be held responsible for the security of Israel as much as Israel should be held responsible for Palestine's security.

Lastly, this is my last week in Palestine I will be leaving at the end of the month. Each time I visit here I am encouraged that people continue to go about their lives despite the many challenges that we can not event comprehend much less accept. My family is a small example of that spirit, weddings, babies and celebrations all the times. I forgot about the food, what can I say, it is simply divine. From Palestine, have a great weekend.

Jehad Aliweiwi is an Arab Canadian activist and a former executive director of the Canadian Arab Federation.